90
Brutal Honesty Ahead

You're Bad Not Breaking 90 Because You Keep Doing Dumb Stuff

This isn't another "tips and tricks" ebook. This is an intervention for golfers who've convinced themselves that new clubs, more lessons, or "finding their swing" will finally get them into the 80s.

Spoiler alert: It won't. The problem is your brain, not your swing.

Join the Waitlist

Be first to know when it launches + get an exclusive discount.

Scroll for pain

Why You're Actually Stuck in the 90s

You already know most of this. You just don't want to admit it.

🦸

You Think You're Tiger Woods

You're in the trees, behind a branch, 180 yards out. So naturally you try to hit a low draw around the dogleg to the green. It goes 40 yards into a worse spot. Every. Single. Time.

🎰

You Gamble on Every Shot

That 3-wood over water that you've successfully pulled off exactly zero times? Yeah, you're going for it again. Because this time will be different. (It won't.)

🧠

You Have Goldfish Memory

You three-putted from 40 feet on the last hole, so obviously you're going to try to drain this 45-footer for birdie instead of lagging it close. Makes total sense.

💸

You Keep Buying Solutions

New driver? Check. Forgiving irons? Check. Putter with "alignment technology"? Check. A round under 90? Still waiting on that one.

"The definition of insanity is hitting driver into the water on 14 for the 47th consecutive round and expecting a different result."

— Not Einstein, but probably you

The Table of Contents (With Roasts)

Each chapter addresses a different way you're sabotaging yourself.

01

The Math You're Ignoring

Breaking 90 requires 17 bogeys and 1 par. That's it. You don't need birdies. You need to stop making triples. Revolutionary concept, apparently.

Score Expectations Bogey Golf
02

Put the Driver Away, Idiot

A 220-yard 5-iron in the fairway beats a 280-yard drive in someone's backyard. I know you won't listen, but I'm putting this in writing anyway.

Tee Shots Club Selection
03

Aim at the Boring Part

The middle of the green. That's it. That's the whole chapter. Stop pin-hunting when you can't hit a 40-yard wide fairway.

Approach Shots Target Selection
04

The Hero Shot Is a Lie

Phil Mickelson can hit that shot. You cannot. Pitch out sideways, take your bogey, and move on with your dignity semi-intact.

Trouble Shots Course Management
05

Two Putts Are Not Boring

You're not "leaving money on the table" by lagging to 2 feet. You're avoiding the three-putt that's currently adding 6 strokes to every round.

Putting Speed Control
06

Your Pre-Shot Routine Is a Crime

Standing over the ball for 45 seconds while thinking about six different swing thoughts isn't a routine—it's a hostage situation.

Mental Game Tempo

You Now vs. You Later

Current You (Delusional)

  • Pulls driver on a 280-yard par 4 with water left
  • Aims at tucked pins 190 yards out
  • Goes for the green from behind a tree
  • Charges every putt because "never up, never in"
  • Mentally quits after a double bogey on hole 3

Future You (Slightly Less Delusional)

  • Hits 5-iron to the fat part of the fairway
  • Aims center green and takes the par when it comes
  • Pitches out, makes bogey, moves on
  • Lags to 3 feet and two-putts with confidence
  • Grinds through 18 because there's always a chance

Is This Ebook for You?

✓ This Is for You If...

  • You shoot between 90-110 and want to break through
  • You can laugh at yourself (you'll need to)
  • You're tired of blowing up holes you should bogey
  • You want honest advice, not YouTube clickbait
  • You're ready to play smarter, not just "better"

✗ This Is NOT for You If...

  • You're looking for swing mechanics help
  • You take yourself extremely seriously
  • You already shoot in the 70s (congrats, show off)
  • You think the problem is your equipment
  • You can't handle some gentle bullying

Be the First to Stop Sucking

Get notified when the ebook drops—plus an exclusive discount for early believers.

🚀 LAUNCHING SOON

Join the Waitlist

We're putting the finishing touches on the ebook. Drop your email and you'll be first in line—plus you'll get a launch discount that disappears once we go live.

  • Early access before public launch
  • Exclusive launch discount (waitlist only)
  • Zero spam—we're too lazy for that

Questions You Might Have

If you actually apply the strategies instead of just reading them and continuing to hit driver into the lake? Yes. The advice is real and proven. The comedy is just to keep you awake.

Kind of? It's more like tough love from a friend who's watched you make the same mistakes for years. There's real strategy mixed in with the roasting. Think of it as entertainment that's actually useful.

Nope. This is all about decision-making, course management, and mental game. Your swing can stay exactly as mediocre as it currently is. You'll just use it smarter.

Long enough to be useful, short enough that you'll actually finish it. It's not a 200-page textbook—it's actionable advice you can read in an afternoon and apply in your next round.

There's a 30-day refund policy. But honestly, if you can't laugh at your own golf game, you're taking this way too seriously. It's supposed to be fun. (That's actually part of why you're not breaking 90.)

Still Here? Still Shooting 94?

The ebook is almost ready. Get on the waitlist now so you don't miss the launch discount—and so we know how many golfers need saving.

Join the Waitlist

P.S. — Your playing partners will thank you. Rounds move faster when you're not looking for balls in the woods.